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It is often warped by our experiences, explains de Botton. I learnt that my premonitions were sometimes wrong; I also learnt surevy to fear rejection. There's an undetectable, uncontrollable thing that brings two people together - some call it a spark - and a lack of it doesn't mean you lack remarkable qualities of your own. There was a handful of goodnight kisses, and a smaller proportion of second dates.
We can take someone declining a second date and turn it into evidence for a major flaw in our character. I chase after half-nothings and loose ends who will keep me occupied, but not attached. An experiment can't automatically adjust lifelong habits that keep us tied to the same self-sabotage loop, or limiting thoughts about ourselves, but it can bring our attention to them.