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If we manage to get over hurdle 1 and conclude we would like to meet someone, hurdle 2 is not too far behind — how do I retain the illusion of perfect happiness in isolation? I have spent the last six years posting hilarious pics of myself enjoying my fun, jam-packed-full-of-social-events, tonnes-of-friends-and-generally-great-craic-life on Facebook. Social media has made us all addicted to advertising the perfect existence to all and sundry. God forbid we should own up to wanting a little more. So we admit to ourselves that we are on the hunt for love but nobody else is allowed to know.

Sit at the front desk and, well… keep the seat warm and try not to fall asleep.

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In her words, I was supposed to string them along, get them to keep logging in, and ultimately — make them fall in love with me. The number of messages I received each day grew higher and higher until I was receiving a few thousand messages each day. Each night, some sort of message I never did find out what it was was sent out from my profile to every single man that had ever registered for the site, but had either cancelled their paid membership, or never paid to begin with.

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