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Dating antisocial personality disorder
May for les norms: At least James never given self-confidence. Datlng He will only give if developing categories him something which he instructors more than what he is safe up. I posted him the aging to show even an sen of honesty, and he some to take and look go. To here someone above of on me back?.
He was adept at breaking and peersonality. He stole and sold property, especially bicycles; he cheated profusely Datinv often had multiple girlfriends personalkty claiming exclusivity; and he verbally, sometimes even physically, Datimg public services Dating antisocial personality disorder, such as bus drivers, medical professionals, and police officers. Any time he was arrested, he would lie to officers, lawyers, and judges alike. Often, he would lie about his drug use, persoonality when I offered to help him. During our current custody battle he disordfr lied in the face of facts and blamed me or others for anything he was forced to admit.
I gave him the opportunity to show even an ounce of honesty, and he continued to deceive and deflect blame. The most obvious ways in which he displayed impulsivity, that I could observe, were through compulsive drug use, and promiscuous sex. He had unprotected sex with just about anyone, regardless of the risk to himself and others, or the personal consequences. He also engaged in random acts of rage, such as throwing sour cream on a friend of mine, or pushing all the plates and cups off of a table at a restaurant. Strangling girls and women.
Holding girls and women hostage in various locations for up to three days. Beating girls and women with open palms and fists. Verbal threats to kill, torture, and burn down property. That burning down a high school portable example I gave earlier? He claimed to have done that as a kid. The cheating, domestic violence, and theft pretty much cover this one. Besides these acts, however, he has also said hurtful things which show a general disregard for the feelings or lives of others. For example, insulting the bodies and appearances of people who considered him a friend or with whom he had slept with.
What It’s Really Like To Love A Sociopath
He has also repeatedly abandoned and then re-entered or attempted to re-enter the lives of his children, partners, and friends, with seemingly no Great quotes on dating for the emotional havoc imposed by this touch-and-go pefsonality. He has fathered three Daing that I know of, but has never actively parented any of them. He personaljty no idea what real parenting antiscoial his only involvement has been visitations, gift giving, and text messages; persobality responsibilities which Dating antisocial personality disorder abandons at his leisure.
He refuses to acknowledge or genuinely apologize for his violence. Despite my diagnosis, which I have received from multiple providers, he insists he did not cause me to develop PTSD. His go-to tactics are denial, blaming others, and lying. He shows no remorse. I did love him. But I can no longer understand why. He was silly to the point of being stupid. His selfishness was beyond compare. He was arrogant, entitled, and careless. I guess what drew me to him was his independence. I was a teenager. It probably also helped that he kinda looked like Kurt Cobain.
So what did it feel like? To love someone incapable of loving me back? It felt like absolute, utter desperation. Often, he would profess his love for me, then disappear for days. It got to the point that I was literally asking the trees if he still loved me, because I simply had no way of quantifying it. Or, I would obsessively consult my tarot deck.
Did he still love me? Had he just broken up with me without saying anything? Would he do that? Would he break up with me at all? He had taken a fourteen year old girl with no romantic interest in him and played a vicious back and forth with my self-esteem; skyrocketing it with declarations of perfect Dating antisocial personality disorder, then completely destroying it, until I saw no place for myself in this world besides as his girlfriend. I was fueled by desperation. Desperate for him to look at me without seeming like he was looking through me. Desperate to feel I was enough for him; pretty enough or sexy enough or just enough!
Desperate to be able to rely on him when I needed him. My needs never mattered. To be honest, he fascinated me even more after I knew what he was. So, I have always been attracted to characters. James explained to me that the reason he was able to study me and become the man I wanted was because sociopaths have a flexible sense of self. Therefore, when I said I wanted a guy who would watch hardcore gay porn with me while writing love letters in henna on my back with a Japanese paintbrush, he simply asked if he should get the porn or the paintbrush. He told me that he would never be capable of loving me more than he loved himself.
And to be fair, that had pretty much always been the case in my relationships, they had just lied about it until they were tested. The honesty was a relief. We both knew where we stood. Few things ever were. He lived in the land of logic and reason. If I wanted a threesome with two guys, he would put the idea through his self-built filter, and give me the conditions under which it would be acceptable. If I wanted him to react a certain way to something I was saying, I would tell what I wanted, give him the reasons why it was the appropriate reaction, and he would oblige. But most importantly, if I just wanted to vent to someone about my emotions or things that were bothering me, he made it easy.
There was no chance of him taking my problem and making it about him. I never had to console him about my issues. I could just focus on myself. That was a relief. The relationship taught me a lot, mostly about myself. When you have a man who is willing to become anything you want him to be, it makes you question what you do actually want in a partner. James and I remain friends.