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Why would I report datihg What would I say? That another time I drank a lot sttories went to the home of a man I barely knew and then half way through he got crazy and not in a good way? That Ccb was one of the smartest, most interesting men I'd met after my marriage ended, but he was also the one that held me down with his arm across my neck. He wouldn't stop, no matter how many times I yelled at him to get off me. It was like he was in a trance. He was a big man and I knew I'd be no match but eventually I said, so quietly in his ear, "I will fight you. But did I report it? Did I write it down? I remember that for some reason I sat there on his bed and talked with him for another half hour, about religion, soccer, true love and the concept of forever.

And then he walked me home and kissed me goodnight and this all seemed perfectly normal to me somehow. This all seemed to be just part of dating. This is what it is to be a woman who goes on dates. This is what is to be a woman who enjoys sex, and wants sex, but doesn't have the safety of one committed partner. When this story takes place, I was resigned to a sad truth that to be a single, sexually active woman, meant sometimes things are great, and then here and there things get really bad. And those times, I'd just suck it up and keep living and keep on dating and keep waiting for a unicorn to come along and be my boyfriend so I wouldn't have to roll the dice any more. So I wouldn't have to take the chance that a handsome, smart, awesome guy I've been getting to know might hold his arm across my neck and say, "Not yet," every time I yell at him to get off me.

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